A Most Perfect Weiner

I’ve never understood people who make these grand proclamations that they have no regrets in life.

I have thousands of regrets.

No tags 10

The Story of Eli


Many of us hope it’s the gift we’ll earn after our pain begins to dissipate. Hindsight comes after an amorphous period of time brings tangible closure to our pain.

No tags 13

ANUS (Part 1)

It’s 7:12 a.m. on Groundhog Day.

I haven’t even tamed my morning boner yet and my phone has vibrated off the bed and onto the ground.