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A Most Perfect Weiner

A Most Perfect Weiner

I’ve never understood people who make these grand proclamations that they have no regrets in life.

I have thousands of regrets.

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Anus Part 2

Anus Part 2

After I was discharged from the hospital I slept 13 hours in my apartment and woke up to the sounds of my mom cleaning.

ANUS (Part 1)

ANUS (Part 1)

It’s 7:12 a.m. on Groundhog Day.

I haven’t even tamed my morning boner yet and my phone has vibrated off the bed and onto the ground.